Unwanted pregnancy hits at random

If you do not want to have a child right now, but you want to have a fulfilled heterosexual sex-life, pregnancy is a risk which can hit anyone, however careful he or she is to avoid it. This is an answer I gave someone who equated unintentional pregnancy with questionable morals.

According to "How effective are condoms against pregnancy?":

If you use condoms perfectly every single time you have sex, they’re 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. But people aren’t perfect, so in real life condoms are about 82% effective — that means about 18 out of 100 people who use condoms as their only birth control method will get pregnant each year.

Other means of birth control are around 70-91% effective, with the sole exception of the implant which has 99% effectiveness, so even if people are perfectly hygienic and careful, there will be many pregnancies: if you are perfectly hygienic and careful for 10 years, there will be around one pregnancy per couple (on average).

Even with the implant or perfectly used condoms you’ll have 1-2 pregnancies for every 10 couples within 10 years.

That means calling people unhygienic or careless who get pregnant or whose partner gets pregnant is false argumentation.

Reality is: A pregnancy is an always present risk if a man and a woman have sex, whatever you do to prevent that. Getting pregnant when you did not want to get pregnant is bad luck. You can be careful, but you cannot rule it out completely.

There is however an actually questionable moral code, but not the one of people who get pregnant unintentionally. The questionable code is the moral code of those who condemn people who got pregnant; the code of those who wrongly equate being hit by chance with moral inferiority.

If you find yourself condemning people for things which can happen to almost everyone, please look at the actual situation and reconsider that stance. You are not your moral code. If you find it to be wrong, you can change it, and you will find that you stay yourself and even become more rooted in your own self, because you then choose for yourself how you want to be.

People who decide whether they want to have a child should have the right to take that decision without interference from moral accusations. Their decision is an important one, so they need to be able to think clearly to find the best way forward. Moral accusations cloud the mind of both the accuser and the accused.

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